The Thinker, the Stinker and the Farting as a Defense Against Unspeakable Dread

The Thinker

The Thinker

If the theme of your blog is as uninspiring as Contra Spem Spero  — Hope Against Hope that nothing worse than what already happened to you (and the world) aren’t going to happen to you (and the world) in the future, then sooner or later you loose both all hope and most of your inspiration.

No matter how contra you spem your spero,  people get  enough of everything they never wanted to know about you but were too kindhearted to ask you not to tell.  Oh tempore, oh moris! Ah, perish the thought!

Therefore, let’s step nicely past irony and talk about, say, science, its many challenges and rewards, specifically, its one prize, Ig Nobel. Unlike very noble Nobel, Ig Nobel is ignoble — a very biting wordplay here. As you might know, it is the yearly prize in Improbable Research. IgNoble worthy scientific research first makes you laugh, and then (Contra Spem Spero!) makes you think. There are people who react in reverse,  while others  think whether to laugh or not and then not.  Never mind the latter. I laughed… and laughed, which totally disabled my rather limited thinking abilities, might as well because I’ve never gone beyond the short descriptions of the winning entries. Or watching their videos, such as this one: The 2012 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony 

The Stinker

The Stinker

Some of those that amused me most, in no particular order, are:

2011 LITERATURE PRIZEJohn Perry of Stanford University, USA, for his Theory of Structured Procrastination, which says: To be a high achiever, always work on something important, using it as a way to avoid doing something that’s even more important

2005 MEDICINEGregg A. Miller for inventing Neuticles — artificial replacement testicles for dogs, which are available in three sizes, and three degrees of firmness.

1991 MEDICINE: James F. Nolan et all, medical men of mercy, for their painstaking research report, “Acute Management of the Zipper-Entrapped Penis.”

2000 MEDICINE: Willibrord Weijmar Schultz and others,  for their illuminating report, “Magnetic Resonance Imaging of Male and Female Genitals During Coitus and Female Sexual Arousal.”

2003 INTERDISCIPLINARY RESEARCHStefano GhirlandaLiselotte Jansson, and Magnus Enquist of Stockholm University, for their inevitable report “Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans.”

2011 CHEMISTRY PRIZEMakoto Imai, et all of  Japan, for determining the ideal density of airborne wasabi (pungent horseradish) to awaken sleeping people in case of a fire or other emergency, and for applying this knowledge to invent the wasabi alarm.

2004 ASTROPHYSICSDr. Jack and Rexella Van Impe of Jack Van Impe Ministries, Rochester Hills, Michigan, for their discovery that black holes fulfill all the technical requirements to be the location of Hell.

2007 PEACE PRIZE: The Air Force Wright Laboratory, Dayton, Ohio, USA, for instigating research & development on a chemical weapon — the so-called “gay bomb” — that will make enemy soldiers become sexually irresistible to each other.

1994 LITERATURE: L. Ron Hubbard, ardent author of science fiction and founding father of Scientology, for his crackling Good Book, “Dianetics,” which is highly profitable to mankind or to a portion thereof.  

2012 ANATOMY PRIZEFrans de Waal [The Netherlands and USA] and Jennifer Pokorny [USA] for discovering that chimpanzees can identify other chimpanzees individually from seeing photographs of their rear ends.

1996 LITERATUREDr. Mara Sidoli of Washington, DC, for her illuminating report, “Farting as a Defence Against Unspeakable Dread.”

Funny how, sometimes, it takes scientific research to unwrap the magic and hilarity that surrounds us every day. Smile!


2 comments on “The Thinker, the Stinker and the Farting as a Defense Against Unspeakable Dread

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