Riding Ridiculous Bicycles

Законы Мерфи4

Another Rafal Olbinski’s poster. Would be perfect to illustrate a blog about Twitter or a twit about blogging…

fail2it9

Thus far, this is my tenth blog post, which is in no way changes my status of a novice blogger. It’s not the number of post per se that propels one to the ranks of an ace blogger, rather, it’s being totally cool about  who reads your posts, if anyone, who “likes” you, “follows” you, “shares”, “comments” and whatnot. I’m still self-conscious and mighty fascinated with all of this. WordPress monitors your little blogging universe and nothing slips it’s notice. I’m far from cool and, by Zeus, I do still give anus rodentum its due.

I didn’t study the tricks of blogging before or after I posted my first post, naively hoping to learn from my own experience. The first lesson I learned was that in blogging, like in everything else you do, it’s always better to learn sooner than later and, preferably, from someone else’s mistakes rather than from your own. If you don’t learn from others, you are trying to invent the wheel and, while struggling with it, you might find yourself riding a bicycle that looks ridiculous even to those who “like” ridiculous bikes.

“Every asshole is on funny_and_weird_bicycles_24Facebook these days and likes you,” a friend of mine said the other day with a sigh, logging in to his Facebook account. Asshole isn’t a nice word and, truth be told, he didn’t, actually, say asshole. Plainspoken person that he is, he used different word altogether, the one that starts with the same letter as Facebook, has the same number of letters and ends with the same four letters that Facebook starts with. Hint: it’s a very bad word, even worse than asshole. I don’t have Facebook account, and not because I don’t want to be grouped with people who have. 

As they say, there are facts and there is statistics. Statistics is very encouraging, it’s what’s behind it isn’t so much. Of the nine  blogs I posted, a few were “liked”, some more than others, but way too often for all the wrong reasons. 

Below, I list some amusing results of my short but glorious twinkling in the blogosphere. My posts were “liked” by the following people/sites or “followed” by the likes of the following:

  • Those who think Contra Spem Spero is either cool bad-word combination or sexual position they hope yet to experience.
  • Plumbers – most likely because of the joke  My wife is cheating on me with a plumber  on the Smile page.
  • People and sites affiliated in some way with cows, live stock and beef industry (a single cow picture on my Smile page must’ve caused this to happen);
  • Those who like Russia but dislike Putin, dislike Russia and Putin,  like Putin, like Putin shirtless, like Putin with a rifle, like Putin’s rifle;
  • Bird people – those who like, hate, watch, photograph, staff, save, eat birds, particularly cranes, Siberian and otherwise;
  • Those who like, build, photograph, construct, design gliders, hydroplanes and such, both real and toy ones;
  • Those fascinated by skulls;
  • Those who live and die by Murphy’s laws;
  • Those who hate oligarchs, Russian and otherwise, as well as those who hope to join their ranks one day;
  • People who think that Latin is cool, and those who think Latin stinks;
  • People who think that French is cool but Depardieu stinks and vice versa;
  • Those who like pretty pictures and (sic!) little girls in pretty dresses (god only knows why).

If you don’t care who to follow, you’ll never find yourself having been mislead. Sounds like yet another Murphy’s law, the one for bloggers, wouldn’t you say?

Makes me wonder if people who ride, own, design  build or like pictures of ridiculous bicycles will “like” this blog. And another axiom: Not to be surprised by the obvious and the preposterous is an absolute must for any ace blogger.

I posted a picture of a cow made entirely of… cowboys on my Smile page. Check it out.  Beef industry affiliates  must like them cows made entirely of cowboys. Smile?

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3 comments on “Riding Ridiculous Bicycles

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