Russians Launched A Meteor!

Literally earth-shattering news: Meteor Streaks Across Russian Urals.

With a blinding flash and a booming shock wave, a meteor blazed across the western Siberian sky Friday and exploded with the force of 20 atomic bombs, injuring more than 1,000 people as it blasted out windows and spread panic in a city of 1 million.

Dmitry Medvedev, Prime Minister of Russia, said – and this is what he really said, no joke here, “Meteor rain could become a symbol of the upcoming Economic Forum in Krasnoyarsk.” (The source: News Agency Interfax).

“Does this mean the participants of the upcoming Economic Forum plan an explosion and window blasting in Krasnoyarsk?” ask worried Krasnoyarsk townsfolk.

Shocked out of their minds, Russians react, showing a wide range of emotions from morbid to hilarious (translation is mine):  

  • The old woman 4 minutes after the blast, “Must be some effing druggies screwing around.”
  • This is the End of the World as delivered by Postal Service of Russia.
  • Belated Valentine card from God to atheists everywhere.
  • Nothing feels as refreshing as cup of coffee and a meteor in the morning.
  • People of Chelyabinsk are so tough — they need a meteor to wake them up in the morning.
  • Who is to gain from all that fiery spectacle?
  • Shit! Not the effing meteor again! Can’t stand it! Always happens when my favorite Frank Sinatra’s song is playing. 
  • Goddamned Americans! The Pentagon! The CIA!
  • Considering recent setbacks, Russian Federal Space Agency  is proud to announce successful launch of a meteor.

There is no need to post any pictures or videos of the Chelyabinsk meteor here — the Internet is overflowing with them. Instead, yet another cynical look — and outlook — tainted with that peculiar Russian humor.

 BEFORE and AFTER

BEFORE and AFTER

To see more pictures of shirtless Vladimir Putin on foot, mounted on backs various beasts, or riding odd vehicles, visit Vox Populi, Siberian Cranes And Putin in Machina.

Smile, even if  something-or-another is coming at us from the outer space as we speak.  Make “before” pictures before it’s too late. Cheers!

 

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2 comments on “Russians Launched A Meteor!

  1. I heard that a lot of Russians captured the meteor on dashboard cameras because Russians are so used to witnessing accidents when driving

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