How Full Is Your Glass?

Whenever life shoves you into the darkest corner and forces you to start counting your blessings, remember the proverbial half empty glass:  most of your trouble is just the matter of your own attitude. Change it. It can be done.

See?

Your glass looks half full again, and your life doesn’t feel quite so empty.glass

  • Buddhism: The glass doesn’t really exist, for nothing does.

  • Solipsism: I am the glass. And the whole world is nothing but my alcoholic delirium.

  • Islam: There is no glass except glass.

  • Judaism: Why only my glass is half empty?

  • Orthodoxy: The glass is half empty as a punishment for our sins .

  • Catholicism: The glass is half empty only for bad people.freud

  • Freudianism:  You were undeserved as a child.

  • Stoicism: Yes. My glass is half-empty, and I deserve it to be so.

  • Communism: Everyone is entitled to a full glass.

  • Socialism:  Yes, the glass is only half full. But it is equally so for everyone.

  • Yoga: You are both the glass and its contents. You and your glass are One.

  • Science: The glass contains 1/2 of liquid and 1/2 of air, thus the glass is always full.

    300px-Atmosphere_gas_proportions.svg

    Composition of Earth’s atmosphere by volume. If your glass is only half-full, then the other half of it’s volume is a mixture of these gases… and its overflowing the brim of your glass.

  • Victor Pelevin, Russian writer: The glass is neither full nor empty. This isn’t even a glass.  And it’s not you who is looking at the glass but the glass looking at you and your projection of its thoughts on the subject of what you want to look like. Or not.

Half empty

  • Optimist is happy his glass is half full. Pessimist is upset his is half empty. Masochist, half-smiling through tears,  says  he cannot see his because it’s shoved up his a..

  • Optimist says the glass is half full. Pessimist is of the opinion that the glass is half empty. Paranoiac is afraid the glass is half full of poison or, perhaps, urine. Realist, meanwhile, is trying to drink from the glass, while fatalist is quite sure that it is because of those four idiots he’ll get absolutely nothing.

  • Illustration by Sergei Sychenko

    Illustration by Sergei Sychenko

  •  Alcoholic: If my glass is half full of hard liquor, then it’s full, and I’m an optimist. If it’s half full of water — it’s empty, and I’m a pessimist.

takan-s-vodoi
Now, fill half of your glass with a liquid of your choice. Examine it carefully. What do you see?

If you think that your glass is half empty, and at the same time you are convinced that your life sucks, then drink it up.

If the liquid of your choice was a quality poison, you’ll feel immediate relief and would no longer care for your glass or your life.

If it was hard alcohol, you’ll feel better in a little while. Although your glass would be empty, your life might seem full, but only for a little while. It might take another full glass or two before you’ll notice that it wasn’t a glass after all, but a pink crocodile. But you’ll care less.

Cheers!

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One comment on “How Full Is Your Glass?

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